Podcast Ep. 57 Resilience for the Win!
Larry Olsen July 6, 2021
A mogul in every stage of his life Bobby Lieb went from running an underground night scene, becoming a champion in the sports arena, all the way to becoming one of the top real estate sellers in Arizona. During our time together we find out what fueled his internal drive to keep him pushing for success each day. Plot twist, you will find that how he handled setbacks and failures was his real key to success.
Larry Olsen [00:00:07] Welcome. I’m Larry Olsen, and what’s on your mind, once set, it delivers your life. To change the outcomes, we want we must change the plays we’re running. Join us at Mindset Playbook with Real people – Real talk – Real insight.
Narrator [00:00:28] Today’s episode is sponsored by Aperneo, an Achievement Acceleration Company, whose approach to professional development enables clients to gain insights and perspectives to live, work and engage with more success.
Larry Olsen [00:00:43] Well, welcome, everyone to Mindset Playbook and got some really exciting information for you today on one of the most successful individuals in the in the state of Arizona. And you’ll find out what profession that is as we get further into this. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, you’ve taken some time now to listen and get insights into the successful people in lives, as well as those that have had some challenges along the way but have persevered and found the place necessary and the right mindset to succeed in any endeavor, which is what we’re all more than capable of. And if you’re a high achiever already, we’re going to take you to another level. And if you’d like to break through some of the stumbling blocks that you found in your life, you’ll find insights to that today as well. I’d like to welcome our guests today, Bobby Lieb. Before we get into the interview, I’d like to give you a little of Bobby’s background. He played college baseball for Arizona State University and Coastal Carolina University in South Carolina for two years, where he also graduated with a marketing degree. After college, he started working for his dad in a private nightclub in Phoenix called the Jockey Club. They had 2000 members and had many celebrities and athletes frequenting their club. They sold the club on Highland in nineteen eighty-five and opened another club in 1988 to 1995. Now this will come to mind for most of you, the movie Waiting to Exhale, starring Whitney Houston, Angela Bassett and Forest Whitaker was filmed at their club. Bobby got into real estate in 1992 and has been selling now for almost 30 years, mostly in North Central Phenix, Biltmore and Paradise Valley areas. He has sold, now, listen to this, over 3400 homes in 30 years. HomeSmart has 7000 realtors in Maricopa County and Bobby has been the top realtor and sales volume for the past 10 years. Welcome, Bobby, to Mindset Playbook. What are some of the biggest learnings for you after your experiences from the nightclub business through your amazingly successful real estate career?
Bobby Lieb [00:03:06] You’re switching gears. The whole different career, the club, everybody was partying, having a good time. I was more of the entertainer making sure people felt comfortable and wanted to come back. Now, all of a sudden when I had the first club, it was great. So, I was in my 20s. The second club I just turned 30, had our first kid. And I realize I don’t want to be in the bar bizz anymore because it was tough. I mean, it wears on you. The hours wear on you, the lifestyle wears on you, and the top realtor in the valley, Mark Moscowitz, who I’ve known and known part of about 15 years before, said, look, I love for you to come work with me. I’ll be your mentor. And I knew I didn’t want to go work for a big company. I just felt like real estate made sense.
Larry Olsen [00:03:58] What was it? You didn’t want to work for a big company?
Bobby Lieb [00:04:01] Because I don’t listen well. I think you know what I mean, I just you know, I work with my dad.
Larry Olsen [00:04:09] You don’t take instruction well?
Bobby Lieb [00:04:11] Probably both. Yeah. I don’t want to just hard because I worked for my dad and was one on one. And when you were for your family, it’s not very easy. But I like the independence. The thing about the club was I had set hours. I had to be there a certain time, leave a certain time. I had thirty employees that I had to take care of and some nights a thousand people in the club. I really did not want to be in a business that I had all the supervisors over me because I just didn’t think I was going to last in that. So the real estate deal, the independents having a great mentor, felt like it was the right thing for me to do.
Larry Olsen [00:04:49] Wow, that’s great. That’s great. Well, I got to tell everybody that we recently put our home up on the market. And there’s a lot of realtors, as you just heard in that just with HomeSmarts, over 7000 that we could have selected. And I’d met this man years ago. Both of our kids are at Brophy, and I didn’t like him at the time. I’m kidding. And, you know, he was very outgoing, very warm, very friendly so I kept him in my mind. And then when we decided to put our house up for sale, he came to mind, and he’d also been recommended from some dear friends of mine. But what we experienced in this market was beyond my expectations because it’s definitely a seller’s market. And, what have you found different than you’ve seen before in all the years that you’ve been a realtor in this market that we’re in right now relative to trying to find a house?
Bobby Lieb [00:05:53] First of all, I want to address the fact you didn’t like me, not the only one, so you fit right in. So you fit right in, don’t have to like me to hire me and I’m ok with that. You know, it’s funny because, again, I’ve been doing these 30 years now. And when I first started, I was more being tutored by somebody. Then I went on my own stayed at Reality Executives for a little while. Then we came across the shore foreclosure market, which was a nightmare that was from like 2006 to 2011. The difference there is if you’re selling a million-dollar house, it’s worth a million. But your neighbor next door got foreclosed on or short sale the appraisers have to use as a comp. So, you never got your true value. That was a tough market to deal with. The banks were all, you know, basically were selling all over the valley, but there was no control. We were giving people money that had not been foreclosed on and they were still giving them ten thousand so they wouldn’t destroy the house. So now the turn in the market now, where we are at, I’ve never seen anything like this. I mean, we all thought when covid hit right in March and April, the world was going to crumble. Because I as you said, I’m outgoing, I like to deal, and nobody was calling me for a week. And I’m going I barely look for a new career because I just did not know what to expect with Covid. But about two weeks after everything started to implode, I’ve always been listing agent predominantly. I started seeing people back in that again. I think part of it was the government was starting to help people a little bit. And also, I’m seeing people from California, where they pretty much just now reopened in New York, just now reopened there, come to Phoenix because it’s just so much cheaper to live. And more importantly, with covid, we’re seeing people that realize that they don’t have to be in office anymore. They can work out of their house. So, what I was saying was, I guess I can laugh about it. I’m watching mom and dad saying, look, we can’t fly now to see the grandkids. We can’t fly to see our kid. Why don’t you move back to Phoenix? You can operate here, and we can buy you a house, will help you buy a house, kind of like blackmail, I think that is what it is called. But it got the kids to come back to town. And I think that really, especially North Central, because you’ve lived here for a long time, as I have in this area, and most people in North Central have been here for a long time, are grown up in the area coming back. So that was pretty neat seeing that in our area, people were coming back to live here. And that, I think, was a start of the gangbusters and the value of stuff.
Larry Olsen [00:08:33] Mm hmm. So, what would the what’s advice you would give to someone who’s trying to get into this market to buy a house?
Bobby Lieb [00:08:44] Patients. I actually got interviewed a couple of days ago on TV and I kept saying, that’s probably my worst virtue, but you have to be patient because we the other day we had on TV a gentleman that we literally had ten houses. He made ten offers on deals, very competitive market. He was in a six hundred-thousand-dollar range and we couldn’t get a house for him because he was getting out bitted. People were coming in paying cash and he didn’t have the cash to do it. They were given all the rights away like inspection. They were given away their right for appraisal and if it didn’t appraise then they would have to just pay the difference. So, it’s crazy. So, you just have to find the right time and be persistent. And this is not a time in our industry that you give up if you give up being that competitive baseball player that I was and I hate to lose, it just eliminates the people who quit. And that just gives me a better opportunity. But it’s probably something I’ve never seen before. I’m enjoying it because we’re having some sales. I don’t enjoy the disappointment of some of our clients not getting the house they want.
Larry Olsen [00:09:56] We know that disappointment. It used to be you would look for a house and you’d find something that you were enchanted with or something that had some applicability to the needs that you had. So, it was more functional than it was, you know, romantic. I would think that that’s something that you advise people not to do, is not to fall in love necessarily with that home and find one that you can work with because their chances are unless you got all the bucks. You’re going to miss out on it.
Bobby Lieb [00:10:27] No doubt. The only way you’re going to get the house you want is if you build it. Because I think right now, you’re going to get like that, my friend, our client with 10 houses, he first started in Tempe and East Valley. Then he went to Scottsdale, where all his young friends were. It came in in North Central, which is the place that was more affordable. So, he never envisioned himself being in Central Phenix. Now he loves it, but it was not his first choice. I think that’s what people have to realize. You’re probably not going to get your first choice of a house. I just had another client we just closed the house with him the other day. They lost two other deals and they were in a million five range. And we got out bided at people, because you can’t compete against, “I want to call it stupid money” or people just have deep pockets, they don’t care or they’re just desperate to find a house. They’re willing to pay whatever they want to pay. And that’s kind of what we’re up against. So, it’s just there’s no basis, there’s no credibility, you get what you get. It’s almost like you’re settling. You’re selling, especially if kids are in a particular neighborhood that have to go live in that area. You know, like the people are buying your house. They want to be in school in this neighborhood. That’s what’s important, not to make you feel bad, your house was their first choice, but they had two of their houses they got outbid on then they fell in love with yours. So, if it’s the schools where the big important thing, you’ve only got a certain select area that you can move into. If you don’t really care, then you could spread yourself all over the valley. But school, especially with families, are usually the first choice of why somebody picks a neighborhood.
Larry Olsen [00:12:04] Yeah, they’re kids in mind. You know, I have a question for you.
Narrator [00:12:10] What fantastic insights we are getting into in this episode. If this resonates with you and is provoking and of value, please consider the bestselling book of Get a Vision and Live IT, by your host, Larry Olsen at Aperneo.com. His book has been an inspiration to many of Mindset Playbook’s guests. And you’ll find everything you need to live the best version of your life, now. The results you’ll get will absolutely amaze you. Find the book at Aperneo.com in the shop. Now let’s get back. You won’t want to miss what’s to come in this episode of Mindset Playbook.
Larry Olsen [00:12:54] You are in a business with a lot of ups and downs and a lot of uncertainty. Nobody knows if it’s the right time to buy or if it’s the right time to sell. And when they’re doing it, it always seems like the wrong time. We were fortunate, we were on one side of it will ultimately be on the other side of it as well. But it’s a resiliency that you have that keeps you successful. What do you think that came from? Go back to you being a little kid, you know, were you a pouter, were you a whiner or were you kind of a guy that was a leader already? Or what did you see about yourself that you felt kept you pursuing?
Bobby Lieb [00:13:40] I think for me it was sports. I know my dad moved out to Phoenix when I was eleven, and I lived with my mom, my brother in Atlanta. I think baseball really helped me because the first time I’d because like my poor kids, I coached them three hundred games a year. They can get trouble for the child abuse, adult abuse. But I didn’t have that have anybody pushing me. So, I had a couple of good friends of mine whose dads, I guess they liked me, even though initially you didn’t. But they liked me, so you will never let me live that down. No, no. I’m going to hold that against you for a long time. But you know what they said, hey, why don’t you try baseball? And I didn’t know anything about it, but I really started to learn the game and liked the competition. And as I started to get pretty good, I made my little league, my first all-star, my first year. I started to realize that I enjoy the sport and I thought I could be good at. So, be I worked hard at that. And it got to be funny that I teach a class every couple of months. And one of the things I talk about is I coached my daughter and her friends and tee ball when they were like seven or eight years old. maybe it was first grade. We were playing first grade softball and rams. And I knew this one girl on our team was not that good. So, I worked on her. I worked on her and say, hey, here’s how you catch ball. Well, we lost the game because she dropped to fly balls during the game. Here it is twenty-five years later or fast forward what I’m teaching this class. I’m saying I’m still upset because I lost that game coaching twenty years ago. Some people never play sports thinking you’re not a nice guy, which maybe I’m not, but it was all about winning. I mean, I really whatever I do, you know, I’m not obnoxious about it, but maybe I am. But I don’t want to lose at anything and sports, I think taught me that. So, I really started seeing it as I start getting better. I made all state and Georgia came out to play in Arizona State and then I saw what it really took for the Major League. But I went back then to Georgia. But ever since I got out of quit playing baseball, even when I started playing softball, because what old people do when they don’t play baseball anymore, I mean, some of these guys would take it as a joke. I came out there to win and I wasn’t out there, I mean, people some guys would come in jeans and those of us have just been playing.
Larry Olsen [00:16:10] How come winning is, do you think, so important to you?
Bobby Lieb [00:16:14] I just think for me, just what’s imbedded in me, I can’t define it, I think it goes back to saying I just hate to lose. I mean, I don’t know if I like to win or if I hate to lose or maybe it’s equally both. I just feel like to be good at whatever you do, you have to have passion in it. And I think for me, winning that listing, winning that sale, getting your listing and If I lose a listing. I’m finding out a way to get two more. So, I think that’s where sports background helped me into real estate, but I think it’s a bit of both. I love to win, but I hate to lose. So maybe it’s kind of a balance of two.
Larry Olsen [00:16:55] One of the greatest challenges we all face is not getting what we want and what can happen to many people as they settle for less. There’s something about you that we can all learn from, and it’s how you dealt with loss. You didn’t like it, but it didn’t stop you. And let’s kind of examine that a little bit. What do you think? If you’re if we’re assisting everyone that’s listening as well as myself on what you experience when you experience a loss? And then what is your reaction to it, if you if you kind of peel that onion a little bit.
Bobby Lieb [00:17:41] I think let’s go back to baseball. I pitched in high school, pitched in college. And when I lost and especially if it was because of me, whether it was or wasn’t, I took a personal because I felt like I let my teammates down. I felt like I just didn’t do what I normally will do. And for whatever reason that I lost, I meant the next day I made sure that that wasn’t going to happen again. So it’s almost like getting back on your horse. Although I don’t like horses because Bow-Legged, I might get hurt. I think it’s just you find a way in my gut to say you’re going to fail. I mean, you’re going to fail at something, but it’s just how you deal with it. And I just felt like with me that competitive playing sports are it helped me in the business world. Look I’ve lost Listing’s, I’ve lost a brother, you’ve just got to find what’s going to happen, what’s going to overcome. People can be around you and solace and tell you, hey, I’m sorry, but you’ve got to have it in you if you have it in you to say, you know, that’s just part of the bumps in the roads that it’s not you’re going to have those hurdles and it’s how you overcome it.
Larry Olsen [00:18:55] So you almost had a perspective of “that’s part of it” having setbacks. Failure is part of the trip to success.
Bobby Lieb [00:19:06] Yeah, you don’t expect it when it happens, It’s how you deal with it. You know, I lost my brother. I was just started ASU baseball and
Larry Olsen [00:19:17] Is he older and younger.?
Bobby Lieb [00:19:18] He was actually younger. He got murdered and I get a call from a mom, I’m trying to make the Arizona State baseball team, and get a call that my brother had died. Here I’m trying to make a college team and finding out, thanks to my mom, I learned how to handle a loss as a kid. That was probably one of the first because I think I was 18, a freshman in college. So that’s a pretty young age.
Larry Olsen [00:19:44] What happened to him?
Bobby Lieb [00:19:45] A somebody broke into his house and shot him, robbed him.
Larry Olsen [00:19:48] Oh for heaven’s sakes!
Bobby Lieb [00:19:48] They never found the person. The hard part for me is I had to leave my mom had to go back to Atlanta, bury my brother, come back and then make the Arizona State baseball team and to wipe all that out.
Larry Olsen [00:20:01] Did you get a chance to grieve?
Bobby Lieb [00:20:04] Not really. I really didn’t. And because now I’m coming back to a strange area. I’m not back in my hometown. I’m coming back trying to make this team and the people I’m competing against could care less what happened to me, maybe they feel bad, but they’re also trying to make the team also. Yeah. So you really don’t. I had my dad out here who really, he had been divorced, my mom, for almost 20 years of time. So, he didn’t know how to deal with it. I almost had to my own and if I would have afforded therapy back then, I probably would go. I really think again, it sounds corny, but sports kind of helped me overcome the loss of my brother and making the team and making new friends. You don’t forget, I still 40 years later haven’t forgot that, but it’s just having something to vent or to lay it on the line and let it out. I think that sports part helped me there.
Larry Olsen [00:20:55] So it sounds like that not letting others down is an important facet in your ability in of how you deal with life?
Bobby Lieb [00:21:06] I think it’s part of it. I do care about other people’s feelings, and generally I like people. You know, I think that’s the thing I’m going to people business on the nightclub was in a people business. People were a little messed up when they came in. But you still know how to do now do a little more sober, in much better shape and in better shape. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? I think part of it is that I like being around people and it’s not, I’m watching some people in my industry now, and I don’t want to knock the younger generation, because I have young kids, but they don’t they don’t know how to really communicate. I mean, I watch them because I want to go back 20 years ago when we used to go out to dinner and watching kids playing the game boys. There never was any communication with the family. And I think you see that when you’re in the biz, they don’t know how to react to certain things. I mean, I guess because I grew up hungry, we didn’t have anything. I grew up in the streets, but I didn’t have I didn’t come from anything. So, I had to earn what I earned. And I think that hunger to succeed, I just really wanted to be the best that I could be. But again, nothing was given to me. And I think that’s the thing that I feel like I rewarded where I’m at now. I earn whatever I got. Nobody handed me a silver spoon. Nobody gave me any money. I mean, it really was something hard work and putting in hours. And I mean, there were sometimes even now I’ve done this for 30 years when January 1st comes. I am up, I’m not a partyer so New Year’s Eve, my wife is sleeping. I’m going, oh, my God, I got to start over again”. I have no sales on January 1st, I have no one commit…. I’m competing with everybody, everybody’s got the same numbers I have. So now I’m kind of reinventing myself every January, going, whatever you did before, some of that’s great. but you got to keep in touch these people. And just always you can’t just take it for granted. You always going to do well.
Larry Olsen [00:23:02] Yeah. Yeah. How important is the networking and keeping the relationships alive through all the years and why do you continue to do that?
Bobby Lieb [00:23:18] First of all, I love it. I mean, I my brother’s very successful commercial real estate. He goes, you’re not enjoying life. You’re working because he’s out in San Diego for three months. And I go, we’re different people. I mean, we have the same parents. But you, enjoy doing that, I enjoy because I know in my industry, he’s in commercial and residential. If you’re not around, people are not going to hire you and I feel like my relationship with other agents, even though we’re competitors, is very, very important because I’m watching people now. They’re disrespectful to other agents. Even me who is near the top and these guys are just starting. They don’t care who you are, and you don’t do that. You don’t burn bridges. Because when I first started, I hung around all the best in the best. I absorbed it, us back when we all used to ride in cars together, I remember those days. Now you’re in two cars behind. Nobody rides together. But I observed the best of the best in my industry is real estate and what’s with it. And I don’t necessarily really agree how they do that, but they were very good at what they do. And I think that’s what people need to do. You need to hang around people who are better than you, smarter than you. That’s how you learn if you come with attitude, “I’m smarter and having paid your dues”, you’re going to fail. So, I think I paid my dues. I stayed as a mentee for five years with great agent. But I also even today, I’m watching the people who have been very, very good. Why are they getting this listing over me or what do they do differently? Maybe because it related to the seller that may have something to it. But you know what? But I do watch, and I never take it again for granted that I’m always going to get it but I’m just interacting with people. You know, fortunately for us, that grew up in the area, I coached a lot of the kids in the area. But you keep in touch with communication with advertising, cars People what I found in our industry are not very loyal. When my kid went to a couple of schools, I was a star realtor for three or four years when my kids were there. As soon as you leave, there’s another star. There’s a lot of people to do what I do. So you guys used to love me. Well, you’re not in school anymore. We see Billy or Sallie all the time, so you have to realize, that hurts you a little bit, because there is not a lot of loyalty in our industry. So, you really have to the communications a little bit easier now with Internet, with social media to be able to keep in touch with them. And it’s funny because people will say to me, man, your Instagram, or Facebook are absolutely amazing. You certainly could not be doing it because it’s looks too good. And the right my wife’s doing that because I’m not good at that. But you have I have somebody around me that makes up for stuff that I’m weak at. The communication and the interaction with people, especially in our industry, is very, very important.
Larry Olsen [00:26:09] Yeah. Well, as successful as you are and those of you out there listening, I mean, he’s like in the top in the country, not just in Arizona. And this is something that is had a lot to do with us taking him on his. I made a phone call to Bobby Lieb, and he answered the phone, and I was literally like, is Bobby there? This is this is Bobby. I no quit screwing around. Is Bobby there? And I think that that just goes to say that you are so authentic, you are very passionate. That comes across very well about what you do. But also, you’re really involved in the people that you work with, the clients that you take on, because the first thing he asked was “how much do you want for your house”? And I you know, I’ve been around a while and I think, well, a highball him and he kind of laughed with the number and then he got more than that for the house. And that’s the market, but it’s also the relationship. And you have been faithful, you’ve been loyal. You’ve been there when I’ve called you, you return right away. You always have something witty to say. And you just have a real spark and spirit to you, I appreciate you and I wanted to ask you to share with us, being the high performer that you are, you know. What time you usually go to bed, what time you get up, and what’s the first thing you do when you wake in the morning, if you don’t mind?
Bobby Lieb [00:27:56] No, as say that’s fair. First, I used to have a nightclub. I would go to bed at 4:00 in the morning. That’s the time I’m waking up now. We have two dogs and I get up with the dogs of 4:30. It’s funny, once I’m up, even though I’m probably still tired, I’m probably going to bed about 10, 10:30. Once I’m up, I can go back to bed because I feel like I’m missing something. So, I’ll get on the Internet, emails, maybe if I have some appointments was the last few days and communicate with them. And I have a list of people that keep saying, you know, maybe a month from now, two months from now, and I’m still ….
Larry Olsen [00:28:41] “I’m still going to get in the market”.
Bobby Lieb [00:28:41] Yeah. And I keep emailing them going, “don’t forget me”, because I said before, “they’re not loyal” and I’m sure they’re running into other realtors. But going to point you before, one thing I teach them in a class I do every couple of months on marketing, I answer my phone and I think it’s very important, one thing my dad taught me, is if you have a problem or you want to get a hold of somebody you call the main person at that company, you call the general manager, you call the boss. But what I’m seeing is some of these realtors, when I call them, you’re getting their fortieth person in command and I’m not calling them. And I want to be respectful to them. They don’t care about me, and it’s fine. I want to talk to the main person who maybe has a listing. I get it they have a team of 40 people. I want to find out from them. Like I just had to deal with somebody recently. We’ve verbally put the offer together just by communicating on the phone. People don’t do that anymore because it’s I want you to send me five copies, him and our old school. I said, here’s what my client is going to offer. What do you think? You said, here’s what we want we put together. So the phone to me is very, very important tool, because I feel like when people do call me and let’s face it, that always the pleasant calls and people could even sellers, thank God it wasn’t you could call you and be pissed off if for whatever reason, but by phone you diffuse whatever they may be mad with you about, when you don’t, it just builds up and makes it more…. So, I find, I probably get two deals a month from people shocked that I answer the phone and say “I call three other people” and they didn’t answer the phone. I’m not going be that guy. No, because I want those listings. I know people aren’t loyal for them to say we don’t know who we’re going to hire yet, but we’re going to interview three people. And I answered the phone, and they hire me. That just tells me they want to play want to give the other guy answer right away. I want some points.
Larry Olsen [00:30:40] You know you’ve brought this up a couple of times. This people aren’t that loyal. And I wanted to kind of let’s examine that a little bit, because I think that’s something that is occurred in the last twenty, thirty years, is that people have an attitude about salespeople to begin with. Right. OK. And unfortunately, some of it is justified, that it’s all about the buck and so, if it’s all about the buck. And I’m going to play that game as a consumer and see where I can get the best for my buck. And so we’re making it about money, we’re not making about the relationship. And this is something that you are overcoming by just the magic of communication, and how many of us have, just like, you know, you mentioned about that we can become very computer literate, but not learn how to communicate with a human being, but we can handle electronic really well. I mean, I was on the trail over here the other day and there was a woman pushing her baby in the cart, and it must have been couldn’t have been more than a year old, had a tablet problem. They weren’t even looking at what was going on around them. And, you know, it’s unfortunate for someone to say that’s old school, OK? And the mother that was pushing him had ear buds in and was probably listened to some kind of podcast or whatever. Hopefully it was on my show. Maybe she’ll take that iPad away from the baby. But anyway, and, you know, and I I understand that, you know, having children, you like to keep them entertained because sometimes they can be a little overwhelming and you’d like to have a life, too. But I think it becomes systemic because they’re missing some learning fundamentals and that’s how to communicate with other human beings. And you and I may have not talked to each other for over 20 years, but when we did, it was like yesterday.
Bobby Lieb [00:32:50] Right.
Larry Olsen [00:32:50] I mean, and that is what a real quality is and one that you definitely have in spades. But let’s go back to this this concept about “resilience”. Resilience is defined as the ability to bounce back after being bent, restructured, or reshaped, OK? And in the business I’m in, neuropsychology, I think that’s absurd that when something bad happens to you, you bounce back to the way it was before that, I think it should be bounced forward to what is it that you want to accomplish. And you are probably if you looked up Bobby Lieb, in the dictionary, it would probably say “bounce forward”. You shared that a little of that came from athletics. You know, you put a lot of it into athletics. But I think you’re taking something away from self that if we go back now to your family. Two brothers?
Bobby Lieb [00:33:55] Yes.
Larry Olsen [00:33:56] No sisters?
Bobby Lieb [00:33:58] No sisters.
Larry Olsen [00:33:58] OK, and they were both older?
Bobby Lieb [00:34:02] My brother is four years younger than me, and my older brother was a half-brother was eight years older than me.
Larry Olsen [00:34:08] He’s the one that passed.
Bobby Lieb [00:34:09] Correct.
Larry Olsen [00:34:10] OK, so growing up you’ve got someone younger, someone older around you. You’re paying attention. You can’t help it. It’s your environment. What were some of your early thoughts about? How you deal with things?
Bobby Lieb [00:34:28] Well, first of all, I feel like I’m talking to Dr. Crane, Cheers. I’m like, are you going this anyway?
Larry Olsen [00:34:36] No, I think this is important.
Bobby Lieb [00:34:36] You know, it was great. My mom again moved to Atlanta when dad came out here, and reason why she chose Atlanta was because of her family, her immediate family, my cousins. I will tell you, that was amazing because the cousins always took us in. We’re Jewish so we like Passover, High Holy days they would always include us. And I observed I didn’t have, you know, the mom and dad in the house. Everybody that my uncle kind of made me feel like I was his son again when I, I mentioned baseball. So, but even the dads, my teammates, those parents always invited me over their house. So, I was very fortunate that I had great friends and great family because my mom, you know, we didn’t have a lot, but she didn’t matter about money. It mattered about family. Everybody loved my mother and felt bad because she was on her own. But they took us in, and we always get invited to these functions. And it didn’t matter if you weren’t that immediate family kid, you were part of that family and you never felt like you were an outcast. And I think that kind of stuck in my mind that these guys I mean, I’m not there some other they don’t see me. We go to different schools. They’re going to the right schools and we’re going to you know, but it didn’t matter how much money we had, they made you feel that you were their equal. And I think that carried over to me with even today, we I started a charity at our company to help other people that initial dealing with family. And again, for these friends, I played ball with their dads, moms, come on over, come over for dinner. And it was like I was their kid. And that was like, wow. I mean, so I never really felt like I didn’t have a dad.
Larry Olsen [00:36:32] He’s got a good sense of worth.
Bobby Lieb [00:36:33] Amazing. Yeah. I mean, I didn’t feel like I, I was unfortunate because my dad wasn’t there with me or the father son games, but somebody always adopted me kind of. And so, I never felt like I was left out or like the ugly duckling type deal. I felt like I was part of everybody’s family. And I just it carries over later on. Well, you know what? I remember how they treated me and I do the same other people.
Larry Olsen [00:36:57] You know it’s interesting to hear that because they say the number one fear of mankind is rejection. And so we go out of her way not to be included or a part of. And how many times do we see adults around children and aren’t engaging them? And so what kind of message are they sending to that child? How do they know they don’t have great self-worth? Because, you know, most little kids are challenged with that whole thing.
Bobby Lieb [00:37:26] But I think it’s easy, though. I mean, in today’s world, and I hate to say today, but back then you didn’t have all the game boys and distractions. It was you’re stuck being with your family. You better make it work. And I think that for me, I guess, you know, do we all want to be younger, possibly. But I was very lucky that I was part of a culture where family was very, very important. And I’m certainly not a perfect parent. I’m not a perfect husband. But I did, I really think the best thing that ever happened to me is my mom raised me. I’m not saying I love my dad, but my mom just didn’t have a lot and you would never know, we always felt like we were the richest kids in the block. You know, we live in a apartment. I did not know that we were poor. I did not know that we live in an apartment for growing up. It didn’t matter because I had great friends who play Frisbee, kicked a can and we had a lot of friends live in the neighborhood. So, I guess they were as poor as me, we didn’t we didn’t think we’re we just we like each other. I think that really, again, carried over to later in life.
Larry Olsen [00:38:30] Well, you’ve got a lot of wisdom, tremendous wisdom, and insight. And I want to share something with you. You may be aware of this. When NASA was Kennedy had said we’ll get to the moon in a decade. Right. And NASA was now the ones that had to make that happen. So, they put a genius test together, because they figured it was only by geniuses, because we’ve got to create something isn’t created yet. They sent out 10000 of these tests. And only two percent were geniuses, and they hired the two percent, OK. Then, interestingly enough, they took that same test, which still was applicable to find in the two percent out there who were supposedly geniuses based on the questionnaire. They took the same questionnaire to five-year-old’s and ninety eight percent were geniuses. A fact. So, we can be talked out as we grow up of our geniuses, we can get a test back in school that doesn’t say we’re a genius, a D, you know, whatever. And people start to identify with this feedback, and it determines now how they feel about themselves academically or athletically or whatever it may be. You are a bit of an enigma to me because you have such a great spirit and a great attitude, and you’ve had tragedy in your life. You’ve had you’ve had failure and you’ve had setbacks. And yet you are a human being. You are the same species of those of us listening and you know, are sharing together are part of. Share with us how you and encourage others who are not bouncing back like you’re able to bounce back and maybe spending too much time thinking about what’s not happening in their lives as opposed to what is happening in their lives. What kind of insight can you give them if there was an owner’s manual to Bobbie and you flip to the page on resiliency or how to handle setback, what would you offer them?
Bobby Lieb [00:40:50] You didn’t tell me I was going to think this much. As you know, I think the main thing and I go back to my mom me is be honest, be true to yourself. I know a bunch of people out there, I don’t see immediate family, that they always mask everything, they aren’t totally honest what’s going on in their lives, they want everybody think everything’s great, and there’s nothing wrong. And I’ve always felt like people want to hear, who you are, the real truth, and I don’t think anybody sit there and go, “I’ve had a perfect life”. I remember when we said that the best analogy, but my wife and I first got married and you have these, or you have a kid. So, you’re having these little deals, a neighborhood and everybody has had kids and you’re coming over talking about…. I remember people would always say, “my wife and I just love each other, we never fight”, I’m going my wife. I wouldn’t enjoy going. What are we doing wrong? You know? And it’s like because they’re BS’ing us, you know, they’re not being honest and the rest of us don’t. Why are they so. And guess what? They’re the first ones that got divorced. But the point being is I just I’m not I’m not a good BS’er. I don’t hide feelings. People my wife can look at me go, OK, what’s bothering you? And I go, how’d you know? So, I think it’s being honest. I mean, it’s the only way I can be.
Larry Olsen [00:42:15] Why do you think people don’t want to be honest about their feelings?
Bobby Lieb [00:42:18] I can’t speak for other people. I think they want people to think they’re perfect. And I think they don’t realize that being honest, showing people that you’ve been hurt, you’ve had deficits and stuff that’s part of living. I mean, it’s not there’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe they’re brought up that way. Maybe their parents are very strict, the parents weren’t honest. I can only speak for myself how I was brought up. I watched my mom; she was a three-pack smoker. And I’m like, oh, my God, I’m going to die of lung one cancer. But, you know, back then, it’s all my mom, I watched her hurt. I didn’t live, you know, I didn’t grow up into a very, you know, have butlers in the house and have people taking care. I mean, my mom was our matriarch. So I think I had an experience that I did not have everybody else had. But what’s cool is our neighborhood, all of us lived in an apartment, none of us had it, but we all felt like we were the best, the best everybody some people succeeded, some didn’t. But I think the drive is just in you, I don’t think anybody puts in you maybe. I mean, nobody gave me that drive to want to succeed, not to win and not to lose. I think the family of my mom included me in their deal, made me feel like, and I watch them I hear them talk about negative stuff. And I’d think this is a real person. You look on TV, I mean, everything’s not perfect, but I just speak for myself. I feel like people want to hear the truth. Maybe the time that you don’t people want to hear the negativity. But I think people can relate to honesty. As my wife has said, I’ll say 100, I’m not a good liar. She knows I’m lying. So, I know not to do that.
Larry Olsen [00:44:00] You know, you were very honest with us about the house and about what we should deal with and what we shouldn’t deal with. And you kept it really simple. And I thank you for that because it creates a trust. And I think that’s what a lot of people miss, is they can’t be trusted when they can’t be who they are. And it’s not easy. I’m not saying it’s easy.
Bobby Lieb [00:44:21] And, you know, when they’re lying, I mean, you could tell people if you’ve been wronged what you know.
Larry Olsen [00:44:26] You feel imperfect around them because there’s nothing wrong with their life.
Bobby Lieb [00:44:30] Right. The golden boy and girl.
Larry Olsen [00:44:31] Yeah, exactly. So I wanted to get into more about who this guy Bobby is, because not everybody’s in a position right now where they’re going to buy a house if they’re going to sell a house.
Bobby Lieb [00:44:46] And I still talk to them.
Larry Olsen [00:44:51] What’s the best way for people to get a hold of you if they are in a position where they want to buy or sell right now?
Bobby Lieb [00:44:59] Probably. I mean, I answer my phone. I won’t answer right now because I’m talking to you. I’m at 602-376-1341. My email.
Larry Olsen [00:45:09] Why don’t you share that one more time.
Bobby Lieb [00:45:11] The phone number 602-376-1341. And my email is Boblieb@AOL.com. I know you’re going to make fun of me being AOL. That’s why you wanted me to say that because you want to laugh at me. And you know what? I know I’m not the only AOL person. People do the ring, ring, ring. And but you know what? I am not an Internet savvy person. I know how to open up, but I surround myself with people that make up for my inadequacies.
Larry Olsen [00:45:39] But you will get their house sold.
Bobby Lieb [00:45:40] I’ll answer the phone. I will answer phone. Yes, I’ll try.
Larry Olsen [00:45:43] Yes. All right. I want to wrap things up. This has been very enjoyable. Thank you. Bye. Very quickly. And just ask you how you would kind of like to, wrap it up with the listeners about. “What you value now most in your life after all these years and the success that you’ve had”.
Bobby Lieb [00:46:11] I think family. I’ve got two kids, it’s kind of cool, and neither one of them have gotten married. But watching them do what they’re doing, my son’s doing commercial real estate. My daughter used to work for me, she’s a sports psychology major. So I think you want to feel like you’ve had some kind of impact with them. I know my son still blames me for he had to play college football because dad ruined him playing 200 games a year in baseball.
Larry Olsen [00:46:43] And we don’t quit son.
Bobby Lieb [00:46:44] We don’t quit. Yeah, we got one more. One more, one more curveball. Anyway, so and I think truthfully, you know, this may sound weird, but I’ve watched a lot of friends of mine now 65, which sounds weird, but I feel like I’m young, get divorced. And I don’t want that happened to me. I mean, I don’t want to be alone, you know, 10 years. And I want to know whether we’re going to have our battles, even today, my wife and I, you know, still argue and people go, “you guys look……..”, no, no, no, guys, it’s a real world. I mean, there’s always something. But I think to me, it comes back to family and friends. I mean, I’ve got some really, really, good friends and all what we’re honest each other. I’ve got some other friends that don’t really care about what you’re doing, they just want to be telling. But I think it’s the four or five good friends. where you pick up the phone and go, “I just had this happen to me, what should I do?” Those are invaluable, because even clients and other people that they don’t want to hear about your negative stuff because they have it go on. But your friends are really all you can turn to and, you know, wife and kids. But I think that’s important to have somebody that when you do get down because you can have bad days. I mean, not every day is a good day. We all know that. So you need somebody that you can call and say, “you know, this just happened and you just need to blow off some smoke”. And if you don’t have somebody that you can release the negative stuff. I feel sorry for you because you need to have a sounding board, whether it be family or friends. And I want people oh, I’ve got hundreds of friends. OK, but how many really do you know them that well, do you spend too much time, and I don’t need hundreds, I like three or four good friends that we play golf together, we forget about the real world for three or four hours. I may, you know, kick his ball in the woods and make him. But it’s fun. You know what I have. And maybe I’ll talk smack wise. But you know what? That’s it’s three or four hours that you forget was going on. And then you get back to the beautiful, I think the family of friends really a big deal for me.
Larry Olsen [00:48:48] You know, you shared just such a powerful point, too, and all of that, many of them, but one in particular, and this was something that I’m glad you said, is that you’re not afraid to ask for help.
Bobby Lieb [00:48:59] Right.
Larry Olsen [00:49:01] And how many people will not do that? And so they’re left within their own mind trying to deal with all of the issues that are going on when there’s it’s so much easier sometimes just to, like, give it up and share it with someone.
Bobby Lieb [00:49:15] But I think a lot of that, Larry, comes back to I didn’t have a father that raised me. I’m not jumping on Father’s case. That era of dads, you have to show your tough your man, you can’t show your feelings. And maybe because my mom raised me, I didn’t have that blockage of you can’t be, you’re a bore, you can’t sit here and tell people how you feel. My mom, I was blessed that my mom raised me, that I didn’t have any restrictions, put what I could say, not say.
Larry Olsen [00:49:45] Yeah, beautiful. Beautiful. It’s been a pleasure.
Bobby Lieb [00:49:47] Thank you. Thank you.
Larry Olsen [00:49:50] And thank all of you out there and in here because we’re in your head. We’re not out there, are we? And while we’re in your head, I just want to share with you all how grateful we are that you tuned in. And if you want to write a recommendation or review, please do. But most importantly, remember, this is the good news. Wherever you are, you are exactly where you need to be right now. And the good news is you have a choice. And if you don’t like what’s going on, you know, choose a new reality, and then take the steps and ask for help if you need it. But recognize that we’re there for you. You need someone to help you with your house situation. Bobby is definitely the guy to call. There’s nothing arrogant, there’s nothing pretentious about him. He’s all humility and a lot of fun. So, it’s been a joy having you on.
Bobby Lieb [00:50:42] Thanks for having me.
Larry Olsen [00:50:43] And we look forward, you’ll hear some music in the background. While Walker shares who our next guest will be. Take care everybody.
Narrator [00:50:50] Thank you for listening. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, we ask that you please subscribe and share with your friends and associates. Larry’s next guest is Brian Gregory, founder, and CEO of Admanity, which is turning the advertising world upside down. If you’ve ever wish that a professional ad agency would coach you about your brand but found out you couldn’t afford it, you’re going to enjoy this show. His own quote says it all, “you can’t sell your brand to the world until you know what attracts the world to your brand”. You will love this one.
Sign up for our insight-driven NEWSLETTER T.I.P. "The Inside Perspective”
The Inside Perspective offers insights for achieving more of what you want in life and work through bi-monthly T.I.P.’s, articles, and videos.