Podcast Ep. 56 Refresh Your Judgements
Larry Olsen June 29, 2021
What do a plane crash survivor and a plastic surgeon have in common? As Larry recaps his latest episodes with Dave Sanderson, the Hudson River plane crash survivor and Dr. Maffi, plastic surgeon; the common threads of life, perception & judgment reveal their importance to any life situation. For better or worse our lives are shaped by the perceptions we have and often times those perceptions are based on judgments we have made or that have been taught to us. How would our perception change if we released those judgments? Listen to the full episode and find out!
Larry Olsen [00:00:07] Welcome. I’m Larry Olsen, and what’s on your mind once set, it delivers your life to change the outcomes we want. We must change the plays we’re running. Join us at Mindset Playbook with Real people – Real talk -Real insight.
Narrator [00:00:28] Today’s episode is sponsored by Aperneo, an Achievement Acceleration Company whose approach to professional development enables clients to gain insights and perspectives to live, work, and engage, with more success.
Larry Olsen [00:00:43] Welcome to Mindset Playbook. I’m so glad you have the time to be able to invest it in having an opportunity to take a look at how you’re thinking about your own life. And I start out with about your own life, because until we get that in order, it’s really difficult to bring out the best in others. So, one of the things I want you to start out thinking about is “what do you think about”, how’s it been going? What seems to linger on your mind? And you know that if it’s not positive, then there’s a learning there. There’s something that life is trying to teach us and it’s causing us discomfort. It’s causing us some perhaps hesitation. And it’s asking us to learn from it, not to be condemned by it. And what I mean by that is we can be pretty tough on ourselves when things don’t go the way we want them to go. Years and years ago, there was a book called “How to Be Your Own Best Friend”. It seems like kind of a cliche, a statement, how to be your own best friend. But boy, if it doesn’t start there, whose friend you’re going to be? Because now you’re just trying to be something, you’re trying to bring out the best in others, see the best in others. And when you are able to do that for yourself, you don’t have to try to do it with other people. It’s just a natural part of your frame of reference, your perspective. So, when we get together and mindset playbook, we take a look at the “mindset”. That’s why I asked you, what are you thinking about right now? And then when we ask you, “how’s it been going”, what kind of behaviors have you been eliciting? How kind of feedback have you been getting from your interactions with new people, with old people, with clients to family and friends? You recognize that behavior is due to the “plays” and the “plays” are these processes and patterns that we’ve developed throughout the years that in my education, we call it “attitude”. Certainly, I did not come up with the term “attitude”, but remember, the important thing is they are “learned behaviors”. None of us were born with them. And the significance of these learned behaviors called attitude is they absolutely determine what’s going to take place in our lives from moment to moment to moment. We are reactionary at best, even though we’d like to be proactive, most of us let life happen to us. And when I say, “to us”, I mean all of the experiences, all of the thoughts and emotions that we’ve had up to this moment in time are stored neurologically in the cell of our brain there to be a resource for us, not unlike the Internet, when we need information, we can go find it. Well, we know we’re doing it when we go to the Internet. We know we’re researching and looking for information. But when we react to how someone treats us, now we’re going to what we’ve stored neurologically in the cell of our brain and more often than not, we don’t recognize we’re doing that, and we react. And if you were able to look back, you’ll see the reaction was similar to the way you reacted the last time that situation occurred to you. So we become very predictable in a life that is unpredictable. We want certainty, we don’t want to have to constantly be wondering what the heck’s going on. And yet, by the same token, until we decide to change, to grow, to accomplish, we have to then become attentive to our own library, to our own Internet, to our own research center. And that’s what we’re all about on Mindset Playbook is the fact that none of us have experienced this moment. And now we’re going to experience another moment and now I can ask you about remember the little earlier I said none of us experience this moment, that is historical now, isn’t it? And how quickly do we deal with their store history, but then we can deal with it the rest of our lives. Being in the moment, giving it a mindfulness, all of these terms for what’s going on all the time anyway are just reminders that am I present? Am I dwelling on the activities, the experiences, visual experiences, the auditory experiences, the kinesthetic, how I feel about things, experiences? Am I experiencing them right now or am I understanding them based on how I understood similar experiences in my past? So as my book, “Get a Vision and Live IT” is all about, it’s so important that we get a vision, something exciting, something bodacious, something beyond sometimes our wildest imagination, because that’s what motivates that, what drives us if we’re to be driven by value. Otherwise, we all know we’re driven by fear. We go out of our way to make sure these things don’t happen again to us. And we shift in this program to get to value, “what do I want to have happen”, “how do I want to be experiencing life right now”? What we’re going to do is we’re going to talk a little bit about the last three podcasts that we had. And we had Dave Sanderson, we had two parts to his, and then we’ll get into Dr. Maffi of just an amazing plastic surgeon in the Scottsdale area and what his experiences have been regarding that phenomenal thing you and I call self-esteem and our own psyche, which is how we feel and see ourselves. Here’s what I would like to make a little shift right now. And I’d like to take you and have you thinking about the fact have you ever been on a plane ride before? Have you ever traveled on an airline? Typically, there’s people on there that are a little apprehensive and they’re reading the manual and they’re listening intently to all the rules and regulations. And there’s other people that you look at are looking at their phone or they’re reading a book or they’re having a conversation because they’ve flown so often, they are no longer concerned about anything other than, you know, what they’re going to do when they arrive. So, whether you’re apprehensive about it, a little nervous or you’re very confident because you’ve flown so often. Nothing gets your attention like an explosion on the plane. And all of a sudden. You recognize that, “well, that’s probably significant, here’s probably something to this”. Well, imagine that the pilot comes on after you’ve noticed only going over the George Washington Bridge by 400 feet. OK, which is really close, and you realize we’re crashing. And that’s exactly what Dave Sanderson experienced when he was on Flight 1459, and it was called “The Miracle on the Hudson”. During that interview, I was fascinated by what would happen to all of us or has happened to some of you already out there, and if that’s the case, please let me know, because I’d love to have you on the podcast, which is we know that it’s over. We know that we only have a matter of minutes before we are going to find out what it’s all about or we have such faith that we already know what it’s going to be all about. There are a variety of experiences on that plane of one hundred and fifty-five people, each one experiencing the last few moments of their life. Dave Sanderson is kind of a unique character in the sense that, he has learned in a multitude of ways how to deal with events that aren’t predictable, how to deal with uncertainty, how to deal with chaos, how to deal with tragedy. He had been the head of security for Anthony Robbins for over 15 years. So, he had been inundated by his education and its great education. It’s all about neurolinguistic programing, the ability to imagine scenarios that haven’t occurred yet so that you can start living them now and then when situations that would ruffle someone else, you are still living as you choose to live in spite of that. And there’s many other ways to explain it, but it’s basically figuring life out before you experience it. And it’s kind of funny because most people have and that’s how they’re living their life, unfortunately, they’re still living the old life as if it’s going on today. So, he recognized when he heard “brace for Impact”, it was about to be over. And I started thinking about because we know he survived, and he he’s written several books about it. He’s done over 700 public speaking events. He’s raised over fourteen million dollars for Red Cross, which he didn’t take a dime from, but they were the first ones to pull him out of the water or the ones that wrap the blanket around him because he was having hypothermia. But when I was listening to him and I was thinking about, “how prepared am I?” If I found out I had 60 seconds and it wasn’t like I could do anything I wanted to do in those 60 seconds, it was that it was going to be over as we know it. And there were three outcomes that Dave talked about. One was you’d find out, what it was like on the other side or if there was another side. Secondly, you would die, there will be nothing based on your belief system. Third, you would be, injured and spending the rest of your life with a cross to bear, if you will, and then you’d find out how do you deal with those unforeseen circumstances that can be debilitating, we all know some people are already experiencing that. Some people are happy as hell about it and others are depressed. What’s the difference? Is it the injury or is it how we’ve been thinking and allowing ourselves to believe about the injury?
Narrator [00:11:45] what fantastic insights we are getting into in this episode if this resonates with you and is provoking and of value. Please consider the best-selling book of “Get a Vision and Live IT” by your host Larry Olsen at Aperneo.com His book has been an inspiration to many of mindset Playbook’s guests. And you’ll find everything you need to live the best version of your life. Now the results you’ll get will absolutely amaze you. Find the book at Aperneo.com In the shop. And now let’s get back. You won’t want to miss what’s to come in this episode of Mind Set Playbook.
Larry Olsen [00:12:28] So having those three outcomes, I asked myself, “what would I do?”. I remember for years, I used to think of how cool it would be to be blown out of a plane, not injured, landing in the water safely somehow going to an exotic island all by yourself and then figuring out, how you would handle it, how you would maintain it, would you have a little soccer ball you’d call Wilson, you know? I mean, what would you how do you deal with it? And I hadn’t ever been in the military. I hadn’t been in an experience where I had the opportunity to see what I was capable of. And I have great admiration for individuals that have put themselves in situations or had others put themselves in situations where they had to find out just what are you made of! Just how courageous are you and what does courage mean to you? So that being said, I want all of us to take a moment and recognize that, can we be calm, can we enjoy those final 60 seconds of our life, or are we going to be in a situation where we’d wish we had more time, or I wish I’d made that phone call? Why have I not talked to that person for three years? Why am I still upset with my parents? What is it that I’ve hung on to that if I had the opportunity to not leave this life with that still lingering in the mind of another human being, would I do something about that? And if you answering “absolutely” well, now you have the chance, don’t you? You have a chance to take whatever you’re listening to this from and turn it off and make a phone call, get in your car, and make a drive and recognize that, if we are, from my belief, to have a magnificent life. We have to learn the one most important thing that Dave Sanderson learned when he survived, and that was he was going to give up judgment. Because judgment keeps us from love, it keeps us from being open to new ideas, it keeps us from meeting all kinds of people, it keeps us from trying different things, eating different foods. Because we’ve already created in our mind of how we feel about it or how we think about it and that’s a judgment. So, the ideal if you will, is to come from love and what I learned most about the interview with Dave Sanderson is that when he chose to give up judgment and to start being accepting, his life turned dramatically. And I know that I have a lot of work to do to give up judgment. I mean, I can just the way I talk to myself about other drivers around me, I can’t even imagine what they say to me. I just listen to my wife, and you would think I’m the worst driver on the planet. But I think I’m quite good, actually. In fact, as a great movie once said, “I’m an excellent driver”. I wanted to just kind of kind of leave you with the from this segment, “am I hanging on to something is keeping me from being coming from love and do I even want to and why would I”? Well, first off, you live longer, but if you’re not coming from love, you don’t probably want to live longer anyway because your kind of angry and uptight and stressed out and that’s no fun. So, it’s a decision we all need to make, doesn’t it? And until we make the decision, we can’t wait to be in love. We can’t wait to find someone to love. We have to choose to love. And then the rest takes care of itself. And you’ll have to just trust me on that, and those of you that already know that recognize how powerful and true that statement is. I’m then going to shift a little bit to someone else I’d like to spend some time with you on. And that was the podcast that I did with Dr. Terry Maffi. Terry Maffi was fascinating to me because he’s a plastic surgeon and his offices are in Scottsdale, Arizona. He is the most likable, friendly guy you ever want to meet, who is just dangerously talented, quite in academia and he’s also a great educator who just is enthralled with the opportunity to teach interns and to have other people discover in. And, you know, how fixated some of us can be on this is the only way to do something. That old concept, “I’d rather be right and successful”. Well, he’s excited when he learns another way of doing something, even though there’s traditional ways so he doesn’t get locked on and then lock out being able to do it more effectively with probably less scars or damage, yet he doesn’t have much of that anyway, the way he operates. The reason my with my fascination with him is years ago in college, I was doing my laundry and it was at a laundromat. If you’ve ever been in a laundromat, we didn’t have cell phones at the time. There was some reading material there. And so, I grabbed it and it was a book. And the book was called Psycho Cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Malts. If you read my book, Get A Vision and Live IT, you’ll see that I have utilized some of the basic concepts of common sense that at the time were profound to me. Dr. Malts had a lot to do with the concept called perception. As you know, perception is truth, perception is reality, and what that means is, however we choose to believe about something becomes our truth, our reality and it’s because we perceive it that way. We see it that way. We feel it that way. We understand it that way. And like Aperneo, an aperture of a cameras, is how image gets in with which is the name of our company and neon Latin is new, it’s for “New Perspective”, it’s how to look at the same differently. And, you know, when people do that, marriages are saved, relationships change with children and the family members. You don’t look at your friends and relatives the same any longer. You’re no longer not looking forward to a holiday because you got to get together with them again. You actually recognize there is the “old library” I’m going to I’m going to have the same holiday but, you know, this time I might try harder. We all know that, but here’s what was interesting with psycho cybernetics. Dr. Maltz was a plastic surgeon and he had botched a nose job that you’ll hear me talk about in the in the podcast. Didn’t want to take the bandages off because he knew what the patient was going to say. So, he postpones it as long as he could make a long story interesting. Ultimately, he couldn’t procrastinate any longer and the patient came in and he unwrapped the patient, the patient, asked for a mirror. You can see he was still kind of delaying this as long as he could, as we all do. None of us like to receive bad information. So, he handed the mirror, and his expectation was that this person was going to be highly disappointed because his perception was that it was a terrible nose job. Well, took the final Band-Aid off, handed the mirror, the person looked in the mirror and said, “I am beautiful”. Now, think about that. The scientist, the architect, the sculptor, the Dr. knew if this was good or not. Based on their truth, correct, that this is what it should look like. Now, what do you think that patient had been thinking about the weeks after the surgery, after the years and years and years of wandering around with that nose before the surgery? What do you think their expectation was? What do you think their vision was exactly, “I’m going to be beautiful”. Now, I’m sharing a very powerful truth with you right now. An old believe, then assert something’s going to happen and then I’ll have a new belief. And it didn’t matter whether what happened worked or not, did it, because the person had imagined so strongly that they were going to be beautiful, that what did they see when they looked in the mirror? And that’s how you and I are living our lives right now. We know what beauty is and we look for it all around us, we know it homeliness is, and we look for it all around us. What do you enjoy seeing the most? We look for people we enjoy. What do we see all around us? We look for things we don’t like to do, what do we see all around us? You follow me? So, this is what’s so fascinating about this thing called human being, we don’t see what’s out there, we see what matches, what we’ve already decided is. I mean, there’s a classic story about a tribe that had never seen a ship and they’re staring out into the ocean, and these ships, these objects are out there, and they don’t know what they are. Well, why don’t they know what they are? I’ve never seen it before. How often do you say to that to yourself any longer? I haven’t seen that before. It’s pretty rare, isn’t it? And yet everything out there we haven’t seen before, we’ve only looking for that which matches. All of those experiences and emotions and thinking that we’ve had up to this moment in time. You already are with beautiful people, if you see them that way, you already are highly intelligent and capable of doing anything you set your mind to if you, see yourself that way. But what if you failed before? What if someone told you how stupid you were? What if you started thinking about that and imagining that and then the next time you failed, would you say to yourself, here I go again. So, I want you to think for a moment about, someone not believing something, recognizing it because of someone else, they were going to change their belief and then even though the someone else failed. It didn’t change the new picture that they wanted, and that’s what my book, Get a Vision, is all about, how to teach us that we don’t need to spend the rest of our lives feeling anything other than having the time of our life right now! And sometimes we’re sad while we’re doing that, but, boy, we’re living the sadness and sometimes we’re happy while we’re doing it, but boy, are we happy. We never do anything kind of. We don’t postpone things. If we’re going to mourn, we mourn, we don’t hold the tears back because someone else might think we’re… We never, ever, ever allow ourselves to be anybody other than who we are and to experience that. When we don’t like the outcome, we change the vision. So, the next time we see things differently. And you know, thing that’s so wonderful about Dr. Maffi is not only is he one of the most, astute, creative, successful most clients that are in admiration and love what had happened as a result of the work that he’d done with them, but he’s really kind. You know, I’m trying to find the meaning in what is it behind these people that cause them to behave the way they did even when they were kids. And there’s always some kind of a dominant thread that runs through that, because just look at yourself. Aren’t there some things about yourself that haven’t changed since you were just a little kid? Why would you want to change those unless they were inflicted on you by a judgmental human being that found you weren’t up to par regarding what you thought you should be? Outside of that, we all know that there are some fundamental truths about us and those are our strengths, we should shine with those, even if they’re a limp, for instance, because nobody can limp like you can limp. Doesn’t matter whether it’s positive or negative. So, what I finally got down to, why his patients love him so much and why his staff has been there for 15 years, he doesn’t have turn over. He doesn’t have to concern himself with that fact. He has new doctors coming on all the time that want to be a part of this. And the answer was basically not only just his caring about people, but he said, I do no harm. I’m not going to do anything to clients they don’t want done. I’ll make a suggestion and if they ask about it, I’ll explain why, but I do no harm. And, you know, that’s the Hippocratic Oath. That’s what every doctor has taken an oath to, that my whole being and purpose in life is to make sure that your life is better as a result of contacting or coming in contact with me. I want that to be mine as well. I have that is my purpose statement. It’s holding me to a higher level. I fall short constantly, but one thing I can do is pull myself back up to a higher person than I was when I fell, and I encouraged that for all of you. You are absolutely miraculous. The only thing you don’t like about yourself is that what you continue to repeat to yourself that you don’t like so you always see it. Once you change that, once you learn to change your mind, the results are absolutely amazing. So, thank you for listening today. There were so many other things I could share with you about those, but I’d rather have you go to the podcast yourself and find out. Again, feel free to write a review, I mean, go to there. There’s an area there you can write on and click at. Just say thank you or just say I learned this from it or say don’t ever use that one again or I don’t care what you say, but that feedback is a breakfast of champions is Kurt Vonnegut once said, and I’d love to become someday a champion and I can’t do that without you. So also recognize that you are absolutely amazing. Wherever you are right now is your starting line. It’s also your finish line. That means you were ready, you are ready, you’re a champion and continue to behave accordingly. Have the time of your life and enjoy it. Take care.
Narrator [00:29:25] Thank you for listening. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, we ask that you please subscribe and share with your friends and associates. Larry’s next guest is Bobby Lieb. A true force to be reckoned with in the real estate business. In the last thirty years, he has sold over 3400 homes, mostly in Central Phenix and out of HomeSmart seven thousand realtors has been the top salesman for the past ten years. Listen, as you’ll learn what it takes to be at the top in your field having fun while you’re doing it, and how to handle setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. You’ll find yourself chuckling through this one.
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